


You're Not A Monster Just A Human And You Made A Few Mistakes

by Im_Miss_Understood



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Alter Ego supremacy, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, And Togami’s glasses, And a lonely and sad underclassmen, Angst, Calm Before Despair, Class 77 sees Makoto as their baby that must be protected, Coping, Everyone in Class 78 is dead, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Found Family, Future Foundation (Dangan Ronpa), Gen, He and Nagito relate a lil too much, He wears Kyoko’s gloves, He's suffering but Class 77 is there and they’re gonna help, Hinata Hajime and Kamukura Izuru Are Merged, Hinata Hajime and Kamukura Izuru Share a Body Simultaneously, Hurt/Comfort, Junko killed the last five survivors in executions to make Makoto despair, Kamukura Izuru Has Feelings, Kamukura feels and the main feeling is guilt, Kamukura is trying his best, Major Character death because Class 78, Makoto isn't okay, Makoto ’Do you want to be my new brother Hajime’ Naegi, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Naegi doesn't care tho lol, Naegi is going through some shit and Komeada ain't helping, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Recovery, So is Komeada, Suicidal Thoughts, Survivor Guilt, Tags May Change, Then Nagito killed Komaru and the rest of his family, What do you mean of course a family can be 14 students, a reserve course student, an overpowered lab rat, lost family, poor boy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2021-01-14
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:55:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28085781
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Im_Miss_Understood/pseuds/Im_Miss_Understood
Summary: When Naegi decides that he won’t let Junko’s despair stop him from moving forward, he decides to save the 77th class.The Future Foundation is going to kill him, but he can't find himself regretting what he's done.Maybe he can gain back the family he lost.
Relationships: Class 77 & Naegi Makoto, Class 78 & Naegi Makoto (Past), Hinata Hajime & Naegi Makoto, Kamukura Izuru & Naegi Makoto, Kirigiri Kyoko/Naegi Makoto/Togami Byakuya (Past), Komaeda Nagito & Naegi Makoto, Naegi Makoto & Alter Ego, Naegi Makoto & Everyone
Comments: 74
Kudos: 170





	1. I’m Lonely Lost In Pain

**Author's Note:**

> First it was Naegi dying, now its everybody but Naegi dying! When will the egg abuse stop?
> 
> Enjoy!

Makoto's head is aching.

It's a pulsing sort of headache, that starts as a simple throb at the back of your head but only expands as the virtual killing game continues.

How many lives had been taken so far?

Too many. Far too many. Innocent, guilty, hopeful lives, despairful lives...

It didn't matter. Despair took everything it could grab it’s grubby tendrils with until they were drowned in the void of darkness.

After everything, all the hurt and pain he had gone through, all the effort in fighting the Tragedy, for his friends, his family, his sister, living for them...

It was all of naught.

Makoto thought that Enoshima was gone. That after the Killing School life, after her suicide, things would go back to normal. That things could be hopeful again.

He was wrong. 

Enoshima would never disappear. Even through death, her despairful actions would continue to haunt the earth for all of eternity.

And there she was, in all her despaired glory. Even though he wasn't in the trial room himself, even though he wasn't the one she was laughing at

Makoto felt like she was mocking him specifically all the same.

Makoto shook his head in denial. How, had this happened....?

(a small part of him that Makoto refused to acknowledge felt grim satisfaction. They were going to die in the saw way they had forced his friends to die in)

(”if they want to die so badly then so be it. It's what they deserve.”)

(the voice sounded strangely like Togami)

Makoto shook his head again, banging it on the desk he was sitting by.

”Makoto-kun?”

”Alter Ego, is the pod completed?”

”Uh, well yes technically...but it’s still unstable! Going in now, especially when the Junko A.I took away almost all the power I had over the simulation... it’s practically suicide with how unstable it is!”

Was it worth it? Nobody would blame him for letting it happen. There was nobody who even knew about his rescue mission. 

Nobody except Alter Ego of course. It was the only thing Makoto had left.

In the end, whatever happened to the 77th class would have been their own fault. They had been the ones to insert the Ai after he had tried to save them. If they died be wasn't to blame.

_ ’that isn't fair. To blame all of them for the actions of Kamukura would be like blaming the entirety of 78th for the efforts of Enoshima’ _

’ _Not like that doesn't happen anyway. The number of times Munakata had tried to claim he would be the next Ultimate Despair had gotten out of hand’_

He should have expected this! It was just too easy. He should have known that The Remnants wouldn't have just agreed to his idea. He should have known Kamukura was plotting something. He didn't do anything unless it was for his own entertainment.

~~ If Kyoko were still here she would've realized the foul play at hand. ~~

Why was he trying to save them in the first place? What was the point? Why did he care about them at all?

He tried not to think about how much Akane’s aggressive behaviour reminded him of  _Mondo_.

Or how well Sonia and  _ Celestia _ would have gotten along.

_ Hifumi _ and Kazuichi scurrying to prepare milk tea was amusing to imagine. Teruteru absolutely would have helped them.

He tried not to imagine  _ Chihiro _ (the  ** real  ** one) playing games with Chiaki Nanami.

Or  _ Sakura _ and Nekomaru duking it out. They would both be so calm, yet so eager to learn more, to further themselves. They could've taught each other so much.

_ Mukuro _ and Pekoyama would have been an interesting fight to see. 

He pretends not to wonder if he and Fuyuhiko would have been on the sidelines rooting for a specific friend.

He tried not to think about how cool _Leon_ , _Sayaka_ , and Mioda would have been in a band.

(Hiyoko could've been their lead dancer)

The Imposter with _Byakuya_ would have been fun to see too. Maybe they would've been friends.

He doesn't even want to think about the similarities with Hajime.

Whenever he sees the upperclassmen, whether it be in the trials, or doing simple acts such as eating, sleeping, and just trying to survive. The way he interprets evidence given to him in trials by Nagito.

All Makoto could see was ~~_Kyoko_~~.

When Nagito and Chiaki died, when he saw the suffering agony on the boy's face...

~~ It was just like him when Byakuya and Kyoko were executed. When they were so cruelly ripped away from him. ~~

”M-Makoto-kun”

”Alter Ego, I need to do this. I need to help them.”

”B-but you could die-”

”if it saves them, then wouldn't it be worth it? Isn’t one life worth less than 15?”

”Please don’t talk like you're not worth anything Makoto...”

”There's no one waiting for me. I have no one else that would care if I died. If I can save these friends, this family, then wouldn't it be worth it?”

”...I would miss you”

”...”

”But you're going to do it anyway, aren't you Makoto? That’s just who you are”

”Then it's decided. I’ll try my best to get you in. I believe in you!”

”...Thank you Alter Ego”

”I’ll come back. I promise.”

”All I have going for me is the desire to keep moving forward. If I lose that, then I'll truly have nothing.”

”send me in”

**Makoto Naegi has successfully entered the Neo-World Program**

Enoshima sees him, and she laughs. She cackles like she's seen the funniest thing in the world.

”Well damn **Ma’ Ko’ To’~**. You've seen better days huh? You look like shit”

Makoto has to admit he does look worse for wear. He can't remember the last time he went to shower, or eat, or do anything other then monitor the 77th class, let alone change his clothes or sleep.

Makoto glares. Enoshima waves her hands in the air.

”Ohhhhh Noooo, the ohh soo scary lucky student is mad! Whatever shall I do?”

Makoto closes his eyes, and clenches his fists. He takes a deep breath. In, out.

_If this is the end, if this is it..._

” ** _You can't save them”_**

Makoto opens his eyes.

_Then at least he can say the 78th class ended in style._

And he points his finger at Junko.

_” **No That’s Wrong!”**_


	2. I Am Broken Down In Shame

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The survivors of Class 77 wake up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In still editing the next chapter of UHB so hopefully that will be up tmmr
> 
> Enjoy the angst!

_ ”Why the fuck are you even trying to save them anyway Makoto? Like, don't you utterly hate and despise them? They like killed all your friends and shit” _

Makoto can't answer that...Actually, yes he can

_ ”No. It wasn't them” _

Makoto holds out his finger for the killing blow.

_ ”It was all your fault!” _

** BREAK **

* * *

Is it...finally over?

The five survivors are talking among themselves. They congratulate each other, over their victory and defeat against the Junko Enoshima Ai and their smiles of hope that flood through their veins are brimming at the fact that it's all over. They're going to be ok.

~~ (He is so jealous of them) ~~

Closing his eyes, Makoto goes on ahead, watching the shutdown sequence from afar as his brain is pulled away from the simulation and is plopped right back into the real world.

He opens his eyes.

Almost immediately, his pod is hissing open as it slides up and over his body and Alters Ego’s happy chirping could be heard from somewhere outside his vision.

”You're okay! I'm so glad you're back Makoto-kun!” Makoto can't see the Ai from where he's lying down, but he smiles all the same.

”Yeah. It's good to be back Alter Ego.” Makoto pushed himself out of the pod he was in and stares at the other green containment units around him. He sways slightly from his lightheadedness. He blinks, and the world comes back into focus.

”How long until they wake up?” Makoto questions the Ai, looking at its virtual face on the broad screen computer.

”A few minutes at most Makoto-kun”

Like a sun rising from behind a hundred clouds on a stormy day, Makoto smiles with a warmth he thought he had lost long ago.

”Ok, ok. This is fine. I was hoping I could shower and change my clothes and maybe get something to eat first before they woke up but it's fine. I'll go make some coffee and then I'll come back and I have to arrange their cabanas...”

And suddenly Makoto is dashing around the room, trying to make everything look nice after months of neglecting it entirely.

”You could help ya know!”

Alter Ego simply giggles

”I don't have hands Makoto-kun!”

Makoto stops at that and tilts his head slightly.

And then he erupts into a fit of giggles. Soon it's just him and Alter Ego laughing at nothing in particular at all.

”Don’t stress Makoto-kun. You've been through so much already. They're starting to wake up now, and you wouldn't want to keep them waiting, would you?.”

Makoto’s eyes widen at that, and with an ’eep’ he races off with a quick ‘goodbye’ to do what he needs to do before the 5 survivors wake up. 

* * *

Naegi feels like he can’t stop himself from smiling even if he tried.

After rushing to make a coffee (he had spilled _wayyyyyyy_ too much sugar in it) he had rejoiced with Alter Ego to wait for the 77th class to wake up.

’While the survivor should wake up almost instantly, the others may take a long time. They might never wake up if they die in the simulation.’ Alter Ego had said tearfully when the killing game had begun. 

Makoto had immediately stopped the Ai from thinking that way, because if they thought about the situation in the worst possible way then they would get the worst possible outcome.

And yet here they were. Three months ago Makoto wouldn’t have thought it was possible, but somehow they had survived. 

As one of the pods began to open up, Makoto exhaled.

He was prepared for a new beginning.

He was excited.

* * *

It was over

The shutdown sequence activates as he and his friends make their promises to each other. That guy from the Future Foundation had gone ahead of them, leaving the former remnants to the mercy of the virtual light.

_ I’m creating my future. No one is going to stop me _

Hinata wakes up to ply glass above his head, and he immediately notices two things.

One, his hair is really, _really_ long

Two, he's not alone

_** What a boring observation from a boring person ** _

Hinata lurches like he's been stabbed, banging his forehead against the pod he's in. He immediately tries to bring his hand up to his forehead to massage it, only to find that he can't move.

_** How annoying ** _

_ K-Kamukura... _

**_ Both of us? Will this be interesting, or will your boring nature dull everything out? _ **

And then Hajime is pushed back into, somewhere. It’s dark and cold and there is truly nothing. It's not a black room, it's just...nothing.

His heart pounds, pulse jumping wildly in his throat, clamming up as he tries to speak. His vocal cords stay utterly still. He still tries, however, nonetheless.

He can't move.

He wants to get out.

Suddenly, like an answer from heaven (maybe Nanami is still watching out for him), the pod squeals open, letting fresh air and light through the previously tinted glass. Makoto Naegi’s head pops into view, and he looks just as hopeful as he was in the simulation. Maybe a bit older, a little more mature, and a little dirtier, but still just as hopeful. Well, maybe a little less.

_** Interesting. Even after everything we've done, The Tragedy, the Junko Ai, he is still putting others before himself. He doesn’t hate you. He seems to hold no anger towards you or the other survivors whatsoever. ** _

_** Intriguing ** _

Hajime was about to demand what he meant by ‘we’ when he had NO part in any of this, when

_** That’s a lie. You created me. So you caused this. ** _

_ That not how it works! I didn’t...I didn’t know that the project would do this! _

** Tell that to the people we killed **

_ Don’t try and pin the blame on me when it was you who did it, and you alone! _

_**... ** _

“...inata-kun? Are you there?” Makoto asks warily. His smile was gone, replaced by a concerned grimace. 

“What are your motives,” Hinata says but not really because he hadn’t moved his lips. He hadn't been the one to say it.

“E-eh?” Makoto rubbed his finger to his cheek, raising an eyebrow at him. ”what do you mean?”

”Why did you save us?”

Makoto...seemed to break in that moment. It was only a crack, a brittle in the hard brick wall that Makoto Naegi seemed to have created, but it cracked all the same.

Then he repaired it so quickly Hajime wasn't even sure he had truly seen it in the first place.

_** You did. ** _

“Because everyone deserves to be saved,  _Kamukura-kun_ ”

Hajime knows he hadn’t imagined the way Kamukura jerks back at that. It was minor, but Hinata had felt his body thump back. There was no way he had mistaken that.

“... I ... apologize, Makoto Naegi,” Kamukura says, and Hajime wonders if another person is stowing away in the body because there is no way that was Kamukura. That softly-spoken whisper that more or less resembled a child was nothing akin to the bored drawl that previously came from the man.

Kamukura doesn’t respond to that. Hinata doesn't know if it's from boredom or something else entirely that was utterly incomprehensible to the once spiky haired man.

“...is Hinata-kun there? Or is it just you” Hajime startles at the harsh hiss that comes from the seemingly happy boy. The cold way he is staring down at him makes Hinata feel tiny.

Did he have glasses in the simulation? 

”He is here. I simply wanted to talk to you first” Kamukura responds. He isn’t looking Naegi in the eyes.

“I’m sorry,” Kamukura says again, and this time Naegi doesn’t sugar-coat anything. He stares Kamukura down, and the way the man shrinks into his hair is so unnatural that it’s starting to scare Hajime.

“No. No, you aren't Kamukura” Naegi says. There is no anger in his words, rather he holds no emotion whatsoever. It sounds so strange coming from the boy who was named Hope itself for his emotions.

“I didn’t expect you to wake up”

_ “ I don’t think I wanted you to” _

Naegi’s voice creaks at that like it physically hurt him to say those words.

_ I feel like I'm looking into something private. Or I'm only hearing one side of the phone call. _

”Can I talk to Hinata now?” Makoto questions. His eyes are closed, and the way his chest heaves is enough to concern Hajime even more.

Kamukura doesn't respond to that, simply opting to disappear into the back of his conscious.

Hajime lurches forwards again, and this time there is no pod ceiling to stop his motion. There is Naegi however, and the younger catches him before he can fall.

The gloves on his hands rub against his arm uncomfortably as he slowly eases the older back into the pod.

”Are you okay?” Naegi asks in concern, and Hajime goes to answer but finds that he can't. He nods, and Makoto seems to find that as an acceptable answer.

”Yeah” lamely after swallowing thickly. Makoto nods again.

Makoto looks down for a moment, and Hajime is scared he did something wrong, but when he looks back up he

He looks scared.

”Hinata-kun, do you know who I am?”

”Uhh” Makoto looks at him eagerly awaiting, so he continues. ”You're Makoto Naegi, Ultimate Hope and leader of the 14th branch”

Hajime knows he had answered right when Makoto let out a sigh of relief. 

”That’s all?” At Hajime’s nod, Makoto lets out a smile. ”Ok, that's good. That's all you need to know”

Makoto stands up and gestures at Hajime to follow him. When Hajime attempts to stand, however, he finds his limbs almost unmovable, like he's wading through pudding.

As Makoto lets Hajime lean on him, he suddenly feels Kamukura wrap around his conscious. It’s like a spider, and Hajime can easily imagine the tendrils of Kamukura’s hair wrapping around the little bit of his brain that hasn't been tampered with and picking it apart piece by piece until there is nothing but brain matter left. That's probably something h can do.

_I thought you said he wasn't angry at the other survivors and me. Why did he lash out at you?_

**_... _ **

_** I said he doesn't hold any anger towards you and the other survivors. He is indifferent to you, resentful of your classmates, and he despises me ** _

_ Why? _

_**You have all the clues to figure it out yourself.** _

_ Wait-! _

Kamukura disappears into the depths of Hinata’s mindscape, leaving the man with more questions than answers.

Hajime inwardly curses his other self for being so cyriptid. 

Guess he would just have to find his answers himself.

* * *

Ever since the end of the killing game, Makoto feels as though he's the only one left in the world. After it had all ended he had been thrown down constantly, hurling himself at despair just to feel the slightest bit of hope again. 

Just to feel again. 

It had been so hard venturing into the despaired world alone, and the countless tough and harsh nights he had spent wishing it would all just end already after disastrous nightmares and guilty episodes made him feel weak.

That's didn't matter, however. He was the Ultimate Hope, so he had to be hopeful.

All 

The 

Time

Because if he fell into despair for even the slightest moment, he would be accused of being the new Ultimate Despair. Sometimes he wishes Kyoko had just shut up during the last few seconds of the killing game. Maybe then he wouldn't have had to deal with all this. 

_ (As he pulls at  her purple gloves he immediately apologizes to the now- ~~ deceased ~~ detective.) _

So what if Munakata makes cruel comments about his hope not being true? So what if people wonder if he's really hope, then why couldn't he save anyone but himself?

_(he had tried so hard. If he had the chance he would've given up his life for any of them, even Junko at this point)_

Three titles 

Ultimate Lucky Student

Ultimate Hope.

Ultimate  ** Survivor **

He hated all of them.

Ultimate Hope gave him too many problems to deal with. 

Ultimate Survivor just reminded him that he was the  last one.

And the Ultimate Lucky Student?

It was the same talent like _him_. 

As Komaru’s murderer.

When Makoto has made the conscious decision to save the 77th class, he knew that included Komeada.

~~ (He knew that included Kamukura) ~~

He didn’t want to, but he couldn’t just leave him. However much Makoto wanted too. He's just like that. No matter how much he tried to pretend not to be.

The way he praised him, worshipped him,  touched him  with those _disgusting hands_ that had been used to end his sister's life, it **sickened** him.

He had brought him to the simulation anyway. 

~~ (Brought Kamukura) ~~

~~ (And what had the long-haired man done? He had shoved everything right back in his face.) ~~

(M _akoto just wants to know why the man hates him)_

* * *

Hajime underestimates how awkward it is between the 77th survivors and the boy from 78.

Makoto is staying at the hotel at the moment, while the five survivors stay in their respective cabins. 

It's been weeks, and Hajime doesn't know how to confront the younger.

After the original awakening, Makoto had been, distant to say the least. Aside from supplying them with the items, they needed to survive, and quick conversations and glances, he hadn’t tried to interact with them whatsoever, to the point of literally running when one of the survivors tried to approach him.

At first, Hajime chalked it up to stress. He was technically a wanted man now, simply by association. He was trying to keep the Future Foundation away and it was quite obviously taking a toll on him.

( _Why is he doing it all alone? Is there no one willing to help him?)_

But now Hajime couldn't be so sure if it was simply stress. 

Kamukura and his vague remarks leading to something that happened between the two while he was technically dead is not helping.

Kamukura feels obliged to comment on everything Hajime does, and he’s getting sick of it.

( ~~Whenever Naegi is around he disappears)~~

”I did it!” Suddenly Souda comes crashing into the restaurant where Hajime ( _and Izuru_ ), Sonia, Fuyuhiko, and Akane are eating breakfast.

_** How boring ** _

”You got the internet working?” at Souda’s eager and proud nod, Hajime is already out the door and heading towards the mechanic's cabin. 

**_ I could have gotten it up in mere seconds, instead of 3 weeks  _ **

Hajime opts to ignore him, instead of focusing on getting to his friend’s cabin.

**_ Your refusal to accept our talents is boring _ **

It’s a small laptop. It was the only one Makoto could provide at the moment. There was no internet connection when they had first gotten it, so he and the others had just played the offline dinosaur game for hours trying to pass the time.

But now the internet was up again, and the first thing Hajime did was go on YouTube.

_** A boring choice ** _

Normal things hadn't been posted in year's it seemed like, just rows and rows of videos of dead bodies and murder. 

Hajime clicked off of the front page.

He clicks on a random commentary video and lets it play in the background, drowning out the static in his ears.

_** This is boring. His points make no sense ** _

Hajime clutches his head and tries to forget.

_** A pointless goal ** _

* * *

_** Wake up ** _

**_... _ **

_** Hinata ** _

_** Hinata wake up ** _

_** Hajime ** _

_Oh my God, you're like an overgrown cat will you just shut up? What time is it?_

_** 3:06 am ** _

_Why the fuck did you wake me up at 3 in the morning?_

_** Someone is at the door ** _

Izuru goes quiet as Hajime pauses, and sure enough, a small tentative knocking could be heard from the other side of the door.

Who could be coming to him at three am?

Slowly getting up, Hajime quietly moves towards the entrance, picking up a book that’s laying on the floor as he does.

**_ That is not needed. Do you truly still suspect that someone is going to try and end your life? Do you think anyone can harm you anymore? _ **

_ Old habits die hard _

_** You do not have to worry. The person on the other side is not going to harm you. Not physically at least. ** _

_ What's that supposed to mean? _

Surprisingly, Kamukura doesn’t vanish like he usually does, simply opting to stay quiet. 

Hajime slowly opens the door and peeps through the small crack he created.

”Naegi?”

The smaller boy has his arms wrapped around his body, putting himself in a self-hug. His hood has been drawn up and his orange tie flutters in the harsh wind.

Hajime doesn't know what compels him to open the door and snatch the other in. Maybe it’s the weather or the fact that it's late and Makoto must be cold. Maybe it was Kamukura. 

( ~~ _Maybe it was because of the tears that Makoto was trying to hide_~~ )

Hajime closes the door and turns towards Makoto, who’s sitting on his bed. He's taken his white glasses off and is now picking at his gloves.

**_ Go sit down beside him _ **

Hajime would question why he cares, but the urgency in his voice stops him. It scares him. It scares him because he feels it too. Something is wrong and he doesn't need Kamukura’s hundred of talents to tell him that.

Like a ghost in the wind, Hajime glides towards Makoto and silently sits down on the bed beside him. It creaks when he does.

Makoto flinches. Barely, and he tries to hide it, but Hajime saw.

”Hinata-kun” his soft voice cracks at the pressure of trying to keep his sadness unnoticed ”do you remember any of Kamukura’s memories?”

That honestly wasn’t what he was expecting. 

Makoto looks up at him, and Hajime could see his face was carefully blank, dried tears laid out on his face as a permanent reminder that he was in pain.

Hajime’s smile strained.

”Well?” 

”Um, no I can't. I don't have any memories of what happened while he was...in control” admitted Hajime, tilting his head slightly to the left.

”I was hoping you didn't. I didn't want to have to tell you but I need someone to talk too” and suddenly Makoto is

wrapping his arms around the broader boy’s chest and clawing at his back.

”I can't go to sleep anymore. I go to bed and then I fall asleep and they're waiting for me and they won't leave me alone. I do everything I can to stay awake but sometimes I'll pass out and they'll be waiting for me and they’ll laugh at me and they'll cry and-and they’ll tell me they hate me and I can't take it anymore-”

Hajime cautiously wraps his arms around the brown-haired boy, pushing his head into his shoulder as he continues to weep a _bout the ghosts of his past._

**_... _ **

**_ He was put into a killing game as well _ **

...

_ What? _

_** The killing game of 78. He was the only survivor. There is a 96% guarantee that he is talking about them ** _

_ He, he was in a killing game...? _

_**Yes. One that I and the others played a large part in.** _

And suddenly everything made sense.

The stress, the fear, the constant glares whenever the survivors complained about something or the other. The jealousy that brimmed in his eyes when he saw them together but the refusal to join when invited.

The lack of help, the relationship he and a goddamn A. I (he quietly pushed the thought of Nanami away) had, and the passive-aggression that only seemed to come out around Kamukura.

_ What did you do? _

**... **

_ Kamukura! _

_**... ** _

_** You will not like the answer ** _

_ Just tell me damnit! _

And then Hajime is suddenly bombarded by memories.

A blond man dying in a pile of dirt and soot, surrounded by burnt money, alone on the side of a curb as people step on his body.

A girl being told to swim to an island, almost making it only for it to blow up. As she is pushed back by waves monosharks devour her.

An older man is told to take three out of nine pills, to test his 3/10 percent abilities. He does and survives, only to realize that there were supposed to be 10 pills. He is dead before his body hits the ground.

A girl is stabbed with scissors. Ripping at her body and tearing apart muscles and tendons as she screams out in pain. She is there for 12 hours, until she finally dies of blood loss, ending her misery as she hangs from a wall in a satanic star-like position. Monokuma paints the word ’Blood Loss’ on the wall behind her.

Another girl with purple hair is shot. She does not die immediately.

Junko Enoshima executes herself, a giant block that falls on top crushing her.

Makoto cries as the shot girl lays there dying.

Hajime,  no,  **Kamukura** ,  steps into his vision.

The weak way Naegi begs Kamukura to save her makes Hajime want to wrap him into a hug and never let go until he's sure the boy is okay.

Kamukura doesn't say anything, doesn't move until the girl has long stopped breathing.

” ** _How Boring_** ” he drawls, gazing at the crying boy on the ground. ” **_ I hoped seeing you despair would bring some amount of entertainment, but you're just as boring as ever. Even after all this you still cling to hope. That ideology is boring. Accept that you couldn't have them and your useless existence. The only thing left for you to do is die at the feet of your superiors.” _ **

_ And then Kamukura throws him a dagger. _

Kamukura turns and walks away, and the memory ends.

Hajime hadn’t even realized that he had begun crying.

With more gentleness than he thought capable of Kamukura, Hajime is pushed back into the state of mind that Izuru usually occupies.

Makoto recognizes the change in posture and immediately pushes him away. Even though they both know he can, Izuru doesn't resist the shove, allowing himself to thump against the bed frame.

”Naegi-” Kamukura starts, reaching out a hand. An offer of peace, of forgiveness, which is more than Kamukura has given anyone.

Naegi shoves it away, using his hoodie sleeve to angrily brush at his tear-stained eyes, glaring at his lap.

”How could you not save her? ”  Makoto asks quietly.

And then he lunges towards Kamukura like a wild cat who's just been released. 

”How could you not save her?!”

Tears are shed, eyes are clawed at, and Makoto expresses the utter hatred he holds for the long-haired man. How he hates Junko fucking Enoshima less than he hates him. How much he hates Hajime for creating him. Kamukura takes everything Naegi throws at him with no complaints.

As Naegi lays on the floor, hands on his knees as he struggles to contain his hiccups, Kamukura watches.

Kamukura does not say anything for a long time until Makoto has cried and his eyes psychically cannot produce any more tears and until his nails have gone numb with how hard he grips his fists.

”I wanted you to feel the same pain I felt. I wanted you to suffer as much as I did when Nanami died. I wanted to show you that hope is nothing but a falsehood created for fools.”

that’s it.

Naegi laughs. He holds his head and he wraps his arms around himself as he laughs and laughs and laughs as he calls himself terrible things that shouldn't be coming from his mouth and Hinata can't do anything because he's weak and pathetic and he has no power over Kamukura and no matter how much he struggles against Kamukura’s control, he can barely blink.

”Do-do you remember what you told me that day Kamukura-kun?” Makoto whispers, swirled eyes gazing at him in awe and daze.

Kamukura tilts his head, and Makoto can't help but giggle, only for it to erupt into a full-fledged cackle of crazed laughter.

”Y-you said it was all my fault! That I killed them! And you were right! You're always right Kamukura-kun.” The boy looks at him like one would a god 

“It was my luck that did it, and I deserve to suffer for everything I've done.”

Naegi stumbles to his feet, and Kamukura gracefully stands up as well.

”You were right about everything,”  Makoto suddenly sounds quiet, soft, defeated. He looks up at the man, and he smiles sadly.

”But, you were wrong about one thing.”

Makoto points a finger in Kamukura’s chest and stares at him with passion and determination and _H_ _ope_ in his eyes.

”You said I couldn't do anything, that I couldn't save them. But that's wrong. Sure I couldn't save my classmates, but I can still save the 77th class, and that includes you.”

”I have nothing left for me. Nothing but the need to help others and the desire to keep moving forward!”

Makoto brings a fist up to his chest and regards Kamukura with warm eyes, with forgiveness.

”Why”

Makoto laughs with cloaked fear and shame in his throat.

”Because I want to. You're suffering too, aren't you? From guilt”

Makoto gingerly takes Izuru’s cold hands into his own, and a cautiously optimistic expression appears on his face.

”I’m probably the most boring person you've ever met. I'm a normal boy who was tossed into hell and only survived offof the kind sacrifices of others.”

”I’m a normal boy who has titles he doesn't want, doesn't deserve but...”

Makoto clutches the older boys' hands even tighter and pulls them up to eye level.

”But I’m still going to do everything I can to help you, because, because I care about you, and I want to help because I know that this is what they would've wanted. They would've never wanted me to reside in pity for the rest of my life and becoming friends with you is the first step to that.  _ She _ wouldn’t have wanted me to cut myself off from other people, I know that. For me to forgive you doesn't mean I have to forget their memory”

Makoto’s dimples furrow as he smiles up at him. 

”I don't want to forget what happened, but I also want to forgive. So let’s start over Kamukura-kun. My name is Makoto Naegi, and I'm the Ultimate Lucky Student.”

”How are you so, compassionate?” Kamukura states, staring at him critically as his brow furrows just slightly in confusion.

”My one good point is my optimism”

”I don't understand why you are trying”

Makoto gazes up at him with sorrow.

”Because if I don't do it now then I never will”

They sit on the bed together, and what was once something tense and uneasy is now comforting, almost.

”I apologize for not saving her”

Makoto hums and lays a hand on the others, running his fingertips over the red-eyed man's knuckles.

”I can't forgive you yet. You have to show me you're truly sorry”

Izuru nods at that, opening his mouth and pausing for a split second, before carefully saying, ”Very well then. I’ll do just that”

They fall into another comfortable silence, and Hajime claws at Kamukura, trying to gain back control. Surprisingly, Izuru lets him, dissolving into the back of his head in content as Hajime is jerked back out. 

As he stares at Makoto, Hajime opens his mouth-

“You remind me of Kyoko, Hinata-kun”

_ Huh? _

_** The purple-haired girl ** _

Oh. That one. The one that was shot as Makoto cried over her dying body. 

”You were a lot like her in the trials is all”

”I used to have a sister. Her name was Komaru”

**_ Komeada Nagito killed her in an attempt to bring him to hope from despair. _ **

_ That-that doesn't make- _

_** Sense. Yes, I know. Despair makes you do strange things. ** _

”D-do you want to be my new family, Hinata-kun, Kamukura-kun?”

_ New...family? _

** Say yes **

** Hajime say yes **

** Hajime  **

** Hajime **

_ Oh my God, I was going to calm down! _

“I-I would like that” Hajime admitted, placing a hand on the other's shoulders, curling his fingers into his shoulders in what was meant to be a comforting gesture.

It seemed to be the wrong thing to do, however, as Makoto curled away from his touch and Kamukura hissed out at him in annoyance.

”Sorry, sorry it's just,” The other seemed to search around for the words he needed to say. Hajime nodded encouragingly and Makoto found his voice.

”Your fingernails, t-they're like  hers”

_** Enoshima ** _

The fear in Naegi’s voice compels the older to wrap his arms around him, being careful not to touch him with his nails.

”Hey, sit down with me? I don't think I'm going to be able to fall asleep anymore. Do you want to maybe watch a movie with me?”

Instead of answering, Makoto turns and leans into his side, curling his head into his waist and looping his arm around him.

”Hey, thank you for this. I, I feel like I finally got something heavy off my chest. Forgiveness is a nice feeling.”

Hajime simply runs a hand through the boy’s short maple-coloured hair, ahoge smoothing over as he caresses it and starts the movie.

Makoto is asleep 30 minutes in.

“What was that all about?” Hajime questioned to himself out loud, quietly as to not wake the boy.

_** He appears to have been having these nightmares for a year now. He’s been suffering from survivor's guilt. ** _

_ He wouldn’t be suffering if you just saved his friends  _

_**... ** _

_ Why did you just watch, Kamukura? _

**_ I’ve stated this already. I wanted him to feel despair because I felt as though it would be interesting. I wanted him to feel the same despair I felt when Nanami died. _ **

_ Why are you so fucking selfish?! Why would you let someone else suffer just because you did? _

_** I don't have an answer  ** _

Hajime hisses out as his head starts to pound from annoyance. 

**_ I want him to forgive me _ **

_ Why? Why do you even care? _

_** He reminds me of Nanami ** _

_ So that’s it then? You want Chiaki to forgive you but she can’t since she’s dead so you’re trying to get forgiveness from someone who reminds you of her? Do you even care about Makoto? _

**_ I never said I wanted Naegi’s forgiveness because I wanted Nanami’s forgiveness. I want Naegi’s. _ **

_ Then, then I don’t know! Work for it I guess _

_**... ** _

**... **

After a few moments, Kamukura speaks again and,

_** I don’t want him to die like Nanami ** _

_ Then keep him safe _

He ends up falling asleep with the movie still running, Makoto buried in his side when he does.

(The next day he wakes up to Kamukura cutting his nails, Makoto still asleep in his bed)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh the angst
> 
> Even if Makoto does hold slight anger for 77, he doesn't hate them. He blames Junko just like with his own killing game. The only people he good to god despised was Kamukura (who could have saved Kyoko but just, didn’t) and Komeada, who felt as though Komaru’s death was justified since she was a boring non-ultimate who deserved death for simply existing. The only person he doesn’t hold any hatred for would be Hajime, because he played no true part in the Tragedy
> 
> Next chapter:
> 
> Everyone: Oh we’re awake now
> 
> Imposter: I am as well
> 
> Makoto, rubbing his chin: Aye shorty what's good you looking fine Byakuya~
> 
> Imposter: ...
> 
> Komeada: I am also awake also lol good thing I killed your sister so you could hope
> 
> Makoto: ...
> 
> Also Makoto: *Pulls out Syo’s scissors*
> 
> Kamukura: *chokes him*
> 
> Everyone else: Oh to see without eyes


	3. Can’t See Straight, So I Just Feel My Way Around

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The rest of 77 wakes up, but not everyone is okay, or welcome.
> 
> Naegi: First time?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I legit could not think of what to do in this chapter but I finished it! Finally!
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> TW! For attempted suicide. It’s a brief throwaway line but it is there so proceed with caution if that stuff upsets you! I want you to enjoy my fics, not be in pain!

_ Makoto exists the school building. This can’t be real. It can’t be. He’s going to wake up in his bed, and then he’s going to go to school, greet his parents, see his classmates, and probably get pranked by Junko for the 100th time. _

_ But Makoto doesn’t wake up. He’s still alive. _

_ He’s still covered in Kyoko’s blood. It runs down the side of his face as he limps. He doesn’t remember when he shoved Togami’s glasses onto his eyes, but now the lens are smeared with blood, and he just can’t find it in himself to wipe it off of him.  _

_ He angrily munches on a donut as he continues to limp towards... _

_ Where is he going?  _

_ The world is destroyed, all of his friends are dead. He’s alone. _

_ What’s the point of clinging to hope? _

_ If he thought about it, Makoto was sure he could come up with a few reasons, probably... _

_ But right now, the only reason Makoto can think of is proving Enoshima wrong, proving  ** him ** wrong. _

_ Makoto ends up collapsing a few whiles away. He had a thought he had made good progress, but when he turns, he can still see that horrendous school in the distance. Makoto sighs, and curls into a ball.  _

_A few hours later, an older man and a white haired man stride over to him. The first one introduces himself as Kazuo Tengan, the founder and chairman of the Future Foundation, an organization obsessed with destroying despair, and director of branch 1. The second one is Munakata Kyosuke, leader of the 2nd branch at the very same place._

_ Tengan calmly asks Makoto if he would like a job at the foundation. They would provide for everything he needed and he would have somewhere to stay. _

_ Makoto grumpily munched on the pink donut he had grabbed from the kitchen before leaving, taking the offered hand. He had no other choice, unless he wanted to go back to that god forsaken school. _

_Makoto stands beside Tengan as the man introduces the 78th survivor as their newest member to the world, and the world cheers._

_ He asks Makoto if he has anything to say, and he does. He doesn’t talk about his friends, rather remembering them in his head. He instead promises to do his best to rid the world of despair with his own hands. Munakata gives him an approving nod. _

_ Little does he know that he and Makoto share quite vastly different views on how to rid the world of despair. _

* * *

Mahiru is the first one that wakes up.

It’s so quick, that none of the survivors can even comprehend what was going on.

When Makoto Naegi bursts into the building, everyone immediately knew something is wrong. Makoto wouldn’t even interact with them unless it was serious.

“S-someone’s waking up” he panted

It was silent.

And then all hell broke loose.

Souda was screaming, Fuyuhiko was screaming at him to shut the fuck up, Sonia was trying to keep everyone strong with her leadership skills, Akane was stress eating, and Hajime? Well it wasn’t really Hajime anymore.

“Who?” Kamukura demanded, and Makoto immediately stood up straight, having caught his breath.

“I-I don’t know,” he admitted. “Alter Ego told me somebody was waking up and I immediately came here”

Izuru nodded, before briskly moving out of the restaurant, tugging Makoto out with him. The smaller boy let out a yip as he was suddenly pulled away, and had to run to make sure he wouldn’t trip.

“Wait, but what about-“

“The others will simply get in the way” Kamukura confirmed for him. Rushing into the main hub, Kamukura immediately understood the situation. 

“The World Destroyer A.I was finally able to destroy her created world...” Kamukura pondered. 

“It’s Mahiru Koizumi. There is nothing we can do except wait for her to wake up” 

“Nothing?!” Makoto shrieked, looking at the red haired girl’s pod in desperation. “There has to be something we can do!” He picked at his gloves.

“Yes, and that something is to wait” Kamukura then positions himself by Koizumi’s pod, and waits.

As the other survivors begin entering the room, Makoto sulked out, disappearing through the door. Kamukura noticed, but said nothing. 

When her pod opens, Sonia is the one that comforts her as she speaks of all the terrible things she’s done, about all the death and all the bodies. She screams about how they’re inside, about how all the people are inside of her camera, inside of her. Hajime can’t help but be reminded of Makoto that one day.

They bring her to her cabin, and talk to her, comfort her. It makes her feel better. 

(Did Makoto ever have someone comfort him? Did he ever get to mourn?)

**_ No _ **

That was the answer Hajime expected.

It’s a few weeks later when Mikan wakes up. She is somehow worse then Mahiru. She screams of despair, and her insides reek of death. She cries for her beloved, she cries for the one person who loved her. In the end it’s not one of her classmates that brings her to her senses, but Makoto.

_She never loved you_ ,  Makoto drops down harshly onto the girl.  _ She never cared about you _

She cries some more.

_ LIES, ALL LIES!  _ She screams as she latches onto his face and starts clawing. Makoto reaches out.

_Look towards the truth!_

_ It’s all your fault! _

Makoto does not deny her words. Rather, he embraces her, trying to get her to see the light. Tries to be who he once was.

She reaches for his neck.

Kamukura ends up holding her down as they figure out what to do. Makoto leaves again.

_ I just brought more problems _

Eventually, she does calm down, and sputtered tearful apologies are what ensue. She is forgiven.

_ (By everyone but Makoto) _

When Hiyoko wakes up, she lunges at Mikan like a wildcat. Mahiru is there to calm her down however. They try to explain that it wasn’t Milan’s fault. She turns a blind eye and a cold shoulder.

Ibuki is the exact opposite, forgiving Mikan almost instantaneously. 

When Nekomaru wakes up, he is greeted by Akane holding out a slice of pizza to him. Multiple slices.

“You better eat up Old Man. I’m raring to go and it wouldn’t be fun fighting you when you’re not in peak condition!”

Nekomaru hesitantly accepts the slice, and grins.

Pekoyama wakes up right when Fuyuhiko is talking to her. He doesn’t hear the pod slide open as he quietly begins to cry. She hesitantly clutches at his shoulder, and he gasps, staring into her eyes.

“...Young Master?” She questioned. Fuyuhiko stares. 

“Peko...”

And then they’re hugging as though they can’t even bear the thought of separating. 

“Heh, thought I told you to stop calling me Young Master ‘n’ shit” Fuyuhiko chuckled. Peko smiled. It was small, but it was there.

“Apologies, Yo-...Fuyuhiko”

Alter Ego happily chirps that Gundam has awakened, and Sonia stops. She simply stands there, before her chair is falling against the floor as she moves, too preoccupied to care.

Souda rushes after her, as does Nekomaru.

The sight the rest of them come to is unexpected. Gundam’s head is in Sonia’s lap, Souda is crying in the corner, and Nekomaru is letting Souda cry on his shoulder.

Hajime laughs. He honestly doesn’t know what else to do.

Teruteru wakes up, and so does the imposter. They both sit in silence. Teruteru mumbles for his mama, and the Imposter wonders who he is now that both of the people he pretends to be are dead.

That’s the last time Makoto comes out of his room for a week.

Hajime ends up checking up on him due to Kamukura’s insistence. Kamukura tells him to break the lock. Hajime refuses. He won’t invade the other’s space like that. If he isn’t hurt then he refuses.

That doesn’t stop him from asking Alter Ego to keep an eye on him.

* * *

Makoto laid on his bed. He tossed and turned as he clutched a pillow over his ears and tried to stop the screams.

Leon’s cries for help as baseballs pattered his skull

Mondo’s yells as he was condensed into butter

Celeste’s dazed eyes as she was hit by a truck and burned at a stake

Toko’s whimpers as she was sliced over and over again

Byakuya’s fearful demands as he was broken down

Hagakure’s gurgling grunts as he chocked on his own blood

Kyoko’s  _ silent _ death as she clutched his hand and bled out, a soft smile finally making its way onto her face.

Oh god how he hated the silence. It made him think. Made him imagine all the terrible things that could happen.

It reminded him.

Turning over, he reached for the new phone Alter Ego had created for him, in response to throwing his old one away so that the Future Foundation couldn’t find him.

5:43 am

Makoto let out a suffering sigh. He was sure it was just 11:00. He thought about whether or not he could make it to AlterEgo’s room. Immediately, the feeling of dread curled into his stomach and layered his insides with thick, oily, fear. 

The fear of accidentally making eye contact with one of them. The fear of seeing them.

He knew if he saw  him he wouldn’t be able to control himself. He would lash out, call him a fake, and cry, because that fake played the role of his friend so well. Not perfectly, of course. Byakuya would never care about the well being of others that quickly, but it was close.

His chest was filled to the brim with anger, and he felt like he was drowning, choking. There were so many of them. He wouldn’t be able to fight them off. They were going to kill him.

What had he been thinking? He was way in over his head.

_ Why are they all fucking alive? Why couldn’t they have just drowned out into death where they belonged? _

He didn’t bother trying to understand what he was feeling. He didn’t bother feeling anymore. What was the point, when there was no one to feel for?

_ Is this how Kamukura felt? _

This was his own personal hell. A torture room he himself had created. Trapped in an endless cycle where nothing made sense and sleepless, empty nights where he was too cowardly to close his eyes and face his demons, surrounded by the people he despised the most were all that existed.

All these thoughts were getting too heavy. They were starting to lack sense, becoming nothing more then white noise in the cackling of his dull ears.

Why was he addicted to hurting himself, to making himself suffer? Why was he forcing himself to go through with this? Maybe it was because he wanted to feel again. Maybe if he was hurt he would have to hope again.

He didn’t really know, and couldn’t find it in himself to care.

Noise was bad, but silence was far worse.

Silence was what he got when all his friends were dead. Left alone with nothing but his heaving breath, his pulsing heart, and Kamukura’s tapping footsteps as he walked away in cruel apathy.

_ (If the man could feel he would have been laughing at him, Makoto just knows it) _

_ (Maybe he doesn’t actually care, and was just listening to him because he found it amusing) _

_ (He and Hinata probably told all his  ~~ murderers ~~ friends about what had happened. They were all mocking him, him and his fake hope) _

_ (Maybe they were planing on how to kill him. He hoped it was a quick death. He just wanted it over with)  _

Sometimes, in place of the silence, he would create a noise. A noise that told himterrible things. When Makoto realized, it was too late. 

He couldn’t go into showers anymore, and butter made him throw up.

He wanted to scream. Anything but silence.

But he couldn’t scream, because if he screamed somebody would get worried. Alter Ego would get scared.

The last time he screamed was when he tried to push a dagger into his heart after all.

A vague sense of what might have once been panic settled into him at the thought of death, but he wasn’t dead. Not like his friends, all his classmates who would never see the light of day again.

Why were these people allowed to live? Who decided that the innocents got to be cruelly murdered while the villains got to live a nice happy life on a tropical island?

Him. He had decided that. He was nothing but a terrible murderer.

For as long as he could remember, he had felt hatred. He couldn’t even remember what hope felt like, for it had been so long, but hatred was something he expected nowadays. God he hated, he hated hated hated hated hated them. All of them.

_ (Hates himself, not them)  _

They are not innocent. What they’ve done, Makoto has witnessed it all. He’s seen the monsters they really were. They were heartless and despairful beasts that had no humanity left. They had killed his friends. They had killed millions. They had destroyed the world. They didn’t deserve to be saved. They didn’t deserve to live a happy normal life.

_ (If he really believed that, then why had he saved them?) _

Anger and frustration began to bubble and gurgle inside of him. Anger at himself and frustration at his stupidity. All the emotions he had been closing off and burying down inside of him for a year came rushing and tumbling out.

He wanted them to  suffer

He wanted to  ~~**_ kill them _ ** ~~

He wanted them to feel the same pain he had felt, for they deserved it.

_ (In the end, he was just as bad as Kamukura) _

He was acting irrationally, he knew that. He couldn’t bring himself to care. 

Stuffing his yearbook into his hoodie, he yanked open his door and stormed out. He needed to see Alter Ego. Remnants be damned.  


* * *

Slowly stumbling out of his pod, Nagito Komaeda cautiously held onto the walls. He gazed at his hand. In the place of  her hand, was a well made mechanical one.

He was so glad it was gone

~~_ He wanted it back _ ~~

Cautiously poking his foot forward, he tried to catch his breath. He was so tired. Maybe he should just go back to bed. 

Taking a deep breath, he began checking all the other pods. Exactly 15. Just enough for 15 students. For one class.

15 classmates.

No...

14 classmates, and one  fake

Slowly stepping out of the door, he walked around, looking for what? He didn’t really know.

That’s when he smelled it.

Smoke.

So much smoke.

Only a giant fire could create that much smoke. He would know.

Swirling, Nagito ran around the building, trying to track down the smell. He was on Jabberwock. Was this the killing game? Had he started the fire?

Had he killed his classmates?

Rushing towards the hotel (the hotel he wasn’t supposed to see ever again), he ran to the back of it. Holding a hand against the wall, he panted, and gazed at the burning fire pit that stood behind the building.

A boy was standing beside it. A boy he recognized. A book lay discarded by his feet and he seemed to be holding something Komaeda couldn’t see. He was about to drop it into the fire. Komeada ran towards him.

“Wait-!”

The boy turned to him, and his eyes widened.

And then Komaeda was being impaled.

Somethings just never changed, huh?

* * *

Throwing his now useless year book onto the ground, Makoto grasped at his classmates photos.

There were four batches of them. One from when they were 14, one when they were 15, one when they were 16, and one when they were 17. 

A picture of his family was also being clutched in his hands.

He would keep the last batch, but the rest were going into the fire.

It wasn’t the best memorial service, but it was all he could think of on such short notice.

Maybe this would help him move on.

Holding a photo of a second year Kyoko in his hand, he went to drop the picture...

Only to see someone out of the corner of his eye.

Someone he had only seen in his dreams  ~~_ nightmares. _ ~~

His haunting cackle was piercing through his ears again as he talked about hope. God it sounded disgusting when it came from his mouth. 

His begging and worship when Makoto had gone to Towa to find his sister had never truly left him. He had been called Servant then, and now he was back.

All he could think about was Komaru’s dead body as she hung from a noose in the torture room with his parents.

He wanted to get away. This wasn’t right. Don’t touch me don’t touch me  ** GET AWAY FROM ME- **

_ I don’t want to be your **H O P E** _

He ran towards him, and all Makoto could think about was how scared Komaru must’ve been when he captured and killed her.

Komaeda was going to  kill him

Makoto pulled out a pair of Syo’s scissors, and stabbed the man in the gut.

* * *

Hajime woke up to the smell of smoke, and instantly thought _here we go again._

Rushing out of his room, he immediately called on Kamukura, only to find that he was no where to be found.

_ How big is my goddamn head that he can just disappear? _

_...I have been told that I’m quite spacey  _

Rushing out of the room, he made his way towards the smoke.

What he saw was quite unexpected.

Nagito (Nagito?!) was sitting on the ground with a puncture wound in his stomach, Naegi was standing above him with a bloody pair of scissors in his hand, and the rest of his classmates were surrounding them, apparently just as confused as he was. There was also a fire.

Then as quick as lighting, Makoto had yanked the scissors up again and was lunging for Komaeda. It was only instinct for Hinata to reach out and yank the scissors away from him.

“H-huh? Hinata-kun?” Makoto stared at him like a child who had just gotten a Christmas present taken away right after they had unwrapped it. “What are you doing?” He cocked his head.

The sun was beginning to rise, but the fire still flared wildly in the wind. 

“What the fuck is going on?” Fuyuhiko questioned as he stared at the two of them. Makoto suddenly shook with barley controlled rage.

“He lunged at me!” Makoto shrieked, graying voice echoing in their ears as Makoto viciously pointed a finger at Komaeda from behind Hajime, who hurriedly moved to block the two lucky students from each other. “He was going to kill me!”

“Why would I do that?” Nagito questioned calmly, as though they were playing a game of chess and he wasn’t bleeding out.

“Why do you think I know?!” Makoto screamed, clutching at his head. “You’re the one who started the killing game, so I wouldn’t put it past you”

That stopped Komaeda. He eyes glazed over as he looked past Makoto and into the distance.

“What I did was for the sake of hope Naegi-kun. It had to happen”

“You had to kill people? What kind of hope is that?” Makoto spat out in disgust, glaring down at him.

“One of the only ways to embrace and feel hope is to first feel utter despair Naegi-kun!” Nagito stretches out his hands, and smiles. “You’re still feeling quite a bit of despair, but soon you’ll feel nothing but the beautiful hope of surviving!”

“It was a shame that your classmates had to die, but they died with hope in their eyes! They were needed and for your beautiful journey to hope, they chose to sacrifice themselves”

“Komaeda, be quiet,” Hajime started, still keeping the scissors out of the others reach.

“They, they didn’t choose to die” Makoto emphasized, “They didn’t deserve it!” he cried out.

“But they were needed” Nagito clarified, “for your beautiful rise to hope, all the death and hurt the world went through was worth it” he sighed blissfully.

“How could everything that happened have been worth it? How can you think that way?” Makoto whispered. He was no longer staring at Komaeda with disgust, but rather pure and utter fear.

The former remnants simply watched. Nobody made a move to stop the two from arguing.

“Because of you Naegi-kun! The death of your friends, family, even the world was worth it for hope as incredible as you!”

“How can you just say that?!” Makoto demanded, leaping to his feet and pointing at the white haired man. “How?!”

Komaeda sighed, like he was trying to teach a child a simple concept. “You still don’t understand, do you? I suppose it’s my fault. I simply wasn’t enthusiastic enough”

“Are you upset about your sister? Is that it?” Komaeda cocked his head as Makoto went still. “I had to kill her you know? For you to fully embrace hope you had to feel even more despair” 

He wrapped his arms around his chest and puncture wound, letting out a blissful sigh. 

The tension swelled up. Naegi stared past Hinata, past Komaeda, past everyone, like he was looking at something that wasn’t there. It was like a giant bubble had been created to hide the lies, to keep them all safe in their happy land where nothing wrong ever happened, where they hadn’t done anything wrong, and now it had popped, leaving nothing up for debate.

Nobody had gone to mention it. Mention what had happened. Mention what they remembered. It had been better to simply pretend it didn’t happen at all, rather then face the truth, face the future. Nobody had mentioned the killing game of 78th. Perhaps everyone had simply hiped someone else would.

Makoto pushed Hajime out of the way, and he didn’t resist. He stared at Komaeda, shock and confusion and  ~~**_ betrayal _ ** ~~ on his face. 

“Is this what you wanted?!” Makoto cried out. He smiled as tears streamed down his face and the fire blazed against his back. “Is this the hope you wanted?! This is hope?!”

Komaeda smiled.

“I was doing what was right. This way, you can embrace an even brighter hope for the future-“

“SHUT UP” Komaeda blinked, but went quiet anyways. Makoto shook his head, gnawing on the nub of his finger and the leather of the purple glove. Fear had replaced his anger.

“Just...just please stop” he whispered. “Please, don’t try and justify it...”

“But it was justified!” Nagito cried, raising his arms and gazing at Naegi in awe. “You’re hoping even more now! A lesser being would’ve crumbled by now, but you and you’re incredible hope just keeps moving forward!”

“Please...please stop!” Makoto cried, clutching his head again as he fell to the floor. Even if Nagito was the one with a slit hole in his stomach, Makoto was the one who was hurting, burning even.

Nagito went quiet, staring in something akin to disgust at the boy crying and grovelling at the ground, like he was scared the boys tears would get onto his shirt. Makoto tried to look up at Nagito, get up from the kneeling position he had brought himself into, only to be brought cowering back down as Komaeda’s gaze pinned Naegi in place. He sat there, shivering.

_ Alone _

A hiss suddenly sounded from behind them, and Komaeda stopped staring at Naegi, instead looking at something beyond him.

Hajime picked up the book that lay by the now extinguished fire smoking at his feet. He idly flipped through the pages with no sense of urgency, with remarkably shorter nails. He tilted his head, giving his class an unimpressed look. Red eyes bore into their souls. 

He dropped the year book, kicking it away from him in annoyance. With a saunter, he made his way over.

“How predictable” Kamukura sighed,

And then Kamukura latched onto his neck in a choke hold, bringing him up into the air so that only the tips of his feet touched the ground.

Komaeda gasped, eyes widening as he stared at Kamukura, and then at Naegi, who was staring at Kamukura’s back in awe.

The world went quiet.  _ Silent... _

And Naegi hated the silence.

He screamed, latching onto Kamukura’s ankle in an attempt to do...something. Everyone was screaming now. Mikan was flailing her arms, Pekoyama had moved in front of Fuyuhiko incase Kamukura came after them next, Souda was screaming with Mikan, Ibuki was crying, and Hiyoko and Mahiru were holding onto each other as their perfect island world slowly fell apart right in-front of them. 

Nagito could have seen more, but Kamukura yanked his face back, two well manured _ **(but not**_ ~~_** black ** _ ~~ _**)**_ nails holding his chin to keep him in place. He stared, just stared, and Nagito stared Death right back.

Because he wasn’t scared for his life. He had died once, he had lived his entire life thinking he was going to die the next day. This wasn’t new.

He wasn’t scared, but Naegi was. Tears streamed down his face as he clawed helplessly at Kamukura’s leg.

“I-Izuru, please,” he started, limply trying to get up only to slip back down. Kamukura paid him no mind, rather focused on strangling Nagito. Said man’s eyesight was slowly starting to fail as he began to lack the very much needed oxygen. Makoto went still. 

He knew what he needed to do. Komaeda’s eyes widened as Makoto slowly pulled out the scissors that were attached to Kamukura’s belt. The man didn’t even notice, so intensely staring at Nagito that he couldn’t be bothered. Nagito tried to speak, only for Kamukura to squeeze even tighter. His vision was darkening at the edges. 

The last thing he saw was Makoto putting his hands in the air, closing his eyes, and impaling himself in the knee. 

The world went still again.

But Makoto hates silence. 

So he screamed. 

He got the wanted reaction. Kamukura dropped Nagito, a dazed look in his eyes as he muttered something.

“Not again...” he whispered as he reached over and picked Makoto up  with ~~far more care then he had ever showed him.~~

Kamukura left them there, in a complete and utter mess.

Nagito blinked, slowly getting up. He winced and gazed at the newly formed crescent marks that littered his neck.

His wound continued to bleed, but Nagito couldn’t think about that right now. The pain was practically drowned out, washed away like waves.

Nobody said a word.

The sun had long since risen, and Fuyuhiko was the first to break the ice. He fell to the ground, rubbed at his forehead, and gazed at his classmates in sorrow. He specifically avoided Komaeda.

“Well what the fuck?” He said.

Komaeda couldn’t agree more

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aww, Kamukura! When Naegi told you to prove to him that you were really sorry, he didn’t want you to murder Komaeda! Common mistake, but now he has a pair of really sharp scissors in his leg so umm, go save the egg child.
> 
> Guess who's back, back again~  
> Nagito’s back, tell a friend~
> 
> Oh wait he’s gone again lol. Syo would be proud
> 
> You cannot blame my man Makoto he was having an episode right there, Komaeda brought back the bad vibes.
> 
> Komaeda stop being a dick challenge he was literally grovelling at the floor my dude.
> 
> The 77th class remember everything that happened as the remnants of despair, so they know about Makoto’s killing game. Hajime was the only one left in the dark until Izuru told him, and Komaeda was the only one willing to pop the bubble of lies ig.
> 
> Lol I forget about him interact with Twogami oh well ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
> Next chapter:
> 
> Hinata, looking at Makoto’s leg wound: YOU HAD ONE JOB-
> 
> Kamukura: He is fine and I strangled Nagito I am content
> 
> Makoto: yea about that stop doing that
> 
> Kamukura: how bout I do it anyways?
> 
> Makoto: :’(
> 
> Kamukura: ok I won’t
> 
> Nagito, in the hospital, rolling his eyes at all the threats: I’m a bad bitch you can’t kill me
> 
> Class 77: okay we’re a lil shitty what do we do?
> 
> AE, as it sighs in only reasonable person on the island but isn’t even a human: God I miss Kyoko


	4. I'm Touching And I'm Grabbing Everything I Can't Be Havin'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Special thanks to candyscratch for betaing this chapter! 
> 
> Their account: https://archiveofourown.org/users/candyscratch/pseuds/candyscratch

_ Nagisa stared. Stared at the demon as he sat down by a wall. A Hacking Gun lay by his side as he put his hands in his hair. Nagisa knew this man. _

_ Not  _ knew _ knew, having simply heard stories. Servant talked about him a lot after all. The man practically worshipped him, drooling at the simple mention. _

_ Makoto Naegi. Big Sis Junko’s killer. _

_ He had been disgusted, in anguish when he had heard the news, seen the broadcasts,  _ watched _ the boy kill the one person who had ever cared about them. He had to keep his composure however. After all, he was the leader. _

_ This man had once been a leader as well, but you couldn’t be a leader without anyone to lead. _

_ Big Sis Junko talked about him. She talked about how annoying he was, how hopeful he was. She also talked about how interesting he was, as she just couldn’t put him under.  _

_ He knew Ikusaba had a crush on him, and he knew that he was once the Ultimate Lucky Student, now the Ultimate Hope. _

_ But these weren’t the things that interested him about the man. No, Nagisa had more important things to do, no matter how much he hated the Hope in front of him. _

_ No, what caught his eye was when the man took off his purple leather gloves, just for a moment. _

_ There, lining his hands, were little I.V scars  _

_ The man couldn’t fall asleep either, not without consequence. He was like Nagisa, just like Nagisa. _

_ A leader, but not really. Surrounded, and yet all alone. _

_ Makoto suddenly looked up, and the two locked eyes. Nagisa winced, flinching away. Disgusting demons _

_ Makoto blinked, then smiled. He probably didn’t even know who he was, just some dumb kid without a Monokuma mask. _

**_Idiotic Demon._ **

_ And yet, as they stared at each other, Nagisa could almost convince himself that the other man could see it too. Could see the connection, the link. _

_ It was terrifying how quick Nagisa started to care. He was scared. Of a demon. _

_ He could no longer judge Kamukura’s sudden absence once it was confirmed that Makoto Naegi was in the city. He wanted to disappear as well. _

* * *

Blinking his eyes open, Makoto wearily  looked around the room he was in. The bathroom, he was in the bathroom.

He turned to look at his knee, and wasn’t shocked to see a giant wound that lay visible through his pants.

Syo’s scissors had been far sharper than he imagined. Made sense, she had used them to kill people.

He turned just barely to look out the bathroom window. The sun had just seemed to have risen, clouds beginning to form in the sky.

His eyes drifted over towards the sink, where the water was running. Slick hands ran under the stream, and Kamukura turned to pierce him with his red eyes.

He was saying something, but it wasn’t reaching Makoto’s ears. Izuru pushed himself away from the still running sink, and reached for his shoulders. He was saying something, something about ‘staying awake’. Makoto couldn’t understand, couldn’t stay awake. Why demand such a difficult task of him? Wet hands grasped at his shoulders and water seeped through his hoodie and ran down his stomach. His wound burned.

God he was so tired. Maybe he would just take a little nap.

Even with the burning pain in his leg, Makoto still managed to close his eyes, ignoring Kamukura as he drifted slowly out of consciousness.  


* * *

When Makoto awoke again, the pain in his leg had subsided, dulled into a slow pulsing ache. He cautiously got up from where he laid on the bathroom table, and rubbed a hand through his hair. It felt greasy, and his face felt dirty.

From his new sitting position, Makoto could now make out the gauze that had been wrapped around his wound. He tenderly poked at it, and it stung. Wincing, he went through the events that had happened, trying to piece his ever quickly fading memories together.

Komaeda had awoken, far earlier than anybody had anticipated, even Kamukura. It probably had something to do with his luck. It was always luck and chance with Nagito.

He had talked about his friends, tried to justify the world's death and crumble into despair. Immediately, rage began to fester in his stomach for the second time. Taking a deep breath, he turned back towards the window. The sun had begun to set now, falling under the horizon and leaving the world in darkness. Had a day already passed? What had he missed?

He had stabbed Komaeda, and then Kamukura choked him, and then Makoto had stabbed his own leg in a feeble attempt to get him to stop. 

Well, it had worked at least? 

_ (Why had he done that?) _

Avoiding the shower, Makoto slowly limped towards the door. Sure, the pain had dialled down into a small ache, but Makoto didn’t want to accidentally strain it and injure himself even more.

Slowly creaking open the door, Makoto looked around his room. It wasn’t large by any means and he knew that, so the lone figure stood out against the white of the cold walls.

Hajime (or Izuru, from the back you couldn’t really tell) sat in his chair, elbows on his desk and head in his hands. His fingers clutched at his hair, and his shallow breathing was even louder than Makoto’s own.

Scratch marks ran up and down the sides of his forearms, and Makoto couldn’t help but wince. He looked terrible. He looked...

Like himself during the days when the remnants were in the program.

Banishing that thought from his head, Makoto brought his head up to speak, only for it to come out as a hushed squeaky whisper instead.

“...Hinata-kun?” He questioned, slowly trying to find his bearings and friction on the wall he was balancing on. 

Hajime’s head was slowly raised from his hands, turning to stare at Naegi in shock, as though they hadn’t seen each other for a thousand years.

“M-Makoto-!” He cried out, leaping to his feet. The chair fell to the floor with a bang as the heterochromic man pushed himself out of it and away from the desk, gathering his bearings as he moved towards him.

Makoto’s chest clenched, and his heart hammered in his closed abdomen, contracting into itself. The thumping of his heartbeat was far louder than any coiling thoughts that tried to make themselves known in his head.

There was only one thing that remained in Makoto, the only thing that remained after everything else had disappeared, and that was his survival instincts.

It lingered at the sides of his mind, stretching and unfolding harshly in his brain.

As Hajime reached out a hand, and white locks fell into his vision, all Makoto could see was that very same hand locking onto his neck, enclosing around it and leaving sharp indents from his black nails and surrounding him until he was consumed by despair, left alone to rot.

_ Alone _

_ I don’t want to be alone _

_ Again _

Steam from the long put-out fire hissed from somewhere behind him

Makoto lashed out, knocking the hand that had probably killed thousands away from his neck. Hajime (was it even Hajime? Or was it Izuru? Was there even a difference between the two?) pulled away, eyes creasing as confusion fell onto his face. He stared at him, rubbing at the hand he had shoved away with a look of hurt on his face. Makoto crawled into himself, hiding his neck.

He felt surrounded, enclosed. Even his room wasn’t safe anymore. The island wasn’t safe anymore. He wanted to escape. He needed to go. Leave. Disappear. Disappear like he should have years ago.

Hajime’s eyes stared into his own, a green one considering him, and a red one studying him. He slowly began to approach again, raising his arms out in front of him, like Makoto was a bunny that he needed to recapture, as though he couldn’t kill others with a flick of his wrist.

“Makoto...” he cautiously started, “it’s alright” he tried to comfort. All it did was force Makoto deeper into his hoodie in an effort to keep his black nails hands away from his neck.

He stopped, considering him. A look of understanding flashed, and he turned to look back at Makoto, his face softening.

“Makoto, I’m not, going to hurt you. You know that...right?” Hajime cautiously spoke, words soft spoken and calm. Like a-

Like a therapist.

Makoto flinched, before turning away. 

“I’m sorry...” Makoto whispered, because he was. He didn’t want to be scared, but he couldn’t help it. He couldn’t just forget. He brought a hand to his mouth and turned away, scared scared  **_scared_ ** of letting out a tearful cry. Scared of being vulnerable in front of somebody like  **_him_ ** .

Was he scared of Hajime? Izuru? Both? Neither?

(He had already cried himself bare in front of Hinata. What did he have left?)

Hajime nodded, that look of pain still on his face, but he hid it easily.

_ You’re selfish. He’s been through ten times the amount of hurt that you have. Why are you so pathetic? Why- _

Hajime wrapped his arms around him, cutting off his deprecating thoughts. Makoto didn’t cry this time, just swayed. Swayed and panted. 

“Come on, let’s get you off your feet” Hajime whispered, the other boy nodding slowly, refusing to take the hand from his mouth as stinging tears threatened to spill from the corners of his eyes. 

Hajime led him to his bed, sitting him down before following suit. He talked about nothing in particular, from things as trivial as his favourite colour, or which movie he preferred. It felt so wrong, to be this calm around someone who had destroyed the world, killed people for no reason.

He was scared of his friend no less.

But could anyone blame him? There was no one around to see anyway.

_ He’s not going to hurt me,  _ Makoto tried to convince himself as he dug his blunt nails into his thighs and tried to silence the thoughts that said otherwise.  _ Why would he pretend to be my friend just to hurt me? Why go through all the effort? _

_ Was it...interesting? Was it entertaining? _

“Why did you do that?” His voice came out much stronger than before, eyes drifting upwards to stare at his...friend. Hajime went quiet, tilting his head.

“Huh? What are you...?” Makoto shook his head, cutting him off. 

“Not you, Hajime,” Makoto started. Hajime’s face rounded in understanding, and he closed his eyes. Sharp red eyes replaced the one hazel-y green one moments later.

“Why did I attack Komaeda.” He didn’t phrase it like a question, rather a fact, a statement that Makoto should already know the answer too. Makoto nodded, turning away.

“I just,” Makoto groaned, rubbing his hands into his hair. 

“I just don’t understand why you care” he finally finished. Kamukura stared. He said nothing. 

He didn’t know either

“I...don’t understand it myself” Izuru finally conceded. He brought his legs up onto the bed, clutching them together. He had never looked more human than in that moment, genuine fear on his face. Fear of not understanding what was going on around him. Makoto lightly traced a finger around his own neck, before leaning down and tracing Kamukura’s knuckles with the tips of his nails.

“I don’t understand why I care so much about you” Kamukura clutched onto the the hand Makoto had held out like a lifeline, and Makoto willed himself not to flinch, to take deep breaths, calm himself down knowing that he wouldn’t be able to pull himself out of Kamukura’s grip either way, so he shouldn’t make things worse.

“I simply know I don’t want anything bad to happen to you” he raised the hand up into the air, placing it onto his cheek and nuzzling up against it. Makoto stared up at him. 

“K-Kamukura-kun...” Makoto whispered.

Makoto slowly moved his hand, wrapping his fingers in  _ Hajime’s _ hair. 

A repressed feeling of what might have been sadness fell over him. It came as suddenly as the anger from before, ripping and tearing into Izuru from all sides.

“Do you regret what you did?” Makoto questions, looking Kamukura in the eye. He doesn’t know if he’s asking about Komaeda, the world, or his friends anymore. He just wants to know. Kamukura says nothing for a moment, like he’s contemplating his words.

“...I regret hurting you,” he finally responds, and Makoto nods. No, why would Izuru regret it? That’s not who he was. Everything he did, it was all for entertainment, so why would he care?

“Why do you regret hurting me?” Makoto asks. “Why do you care?” 

“I don’t know,” Kamukura hisses out, venom in his voice. He goes quiet when Makoto flinches, clutching the hand tighter in a silent apology. “I don’t understand. You’re confusing me. You’re confusing. You’re strange. You make no sense.”

Makoto’s hand was still on Izuru’s face, and he kept it there as he subconsciously shuffled himself into the taller man’s lap. Adjusting himself on his legs, Makoto laid down, brushing his cheek. Kamukura tilted his chin slightly, as though trying to disappear under a mass of hair. That hair had been cut a while ago, after Hajime had punched a mirror because he could no longer recognize himself. 

“Why do things have to make sense?” Makoto whispered, a slight frown making its way onto his face. 

“Everything has a reason, a motion that makes it that way. Even  **_Her_ ** crazed madness had logic to it.” Makoto didn’t even flinch at the mention of Junko, and Izuru brought his own hands down to caress Naegi’s hair.

“But you don’t operate with logic. You don’t have a plan. Yet somehow you succeed in everything you do,” Kamukura explains. “You don’t make sense.”

“Neither do you,” Makoto snaps back. “You take away everyone I care about, hurt them and take their lives, and yet you claim to care about me”

Kamukura flinches, and he ducks his head. His hand stills. 

“Think of it this way, Izuru,” Makoto turns his head around in Kamukura’s hands. “Why do you care about me?”

Kamukura’s eyes narrow, and he goes back to smoothing Makoto’s hair down. “I don’t know,” his voice cracks slightly, like it pains him to admit to those words.

Makoto nods. “Exactly. I don’t know why I saved you guys. I just did,” he shrugs his shoulders slightly, and sends him a small smile. “I don’t have a reason. I don’t think I need one. Make sense?”

Kamukura ran his icy hands over Makoto’s ears, tucking back bouts of hair and trailing nails to scratch his scalp.

“No..” Kamukura trails off, and Makoto sends him another comforting grin.

“That’s okay you know,” Makoto giggles, but there’s no mirth in his voice. He went quiet, curling into himself. “Nothing makes sense anymore.”

“I’m not going to hurt you,” Izuru whispers into his ear, and Makoto slowly closes his eyes, even as Izuru’s nails pick at his nape.

For the first time, Makoto believes him.

* * *

Mikan Tsumiki slowly pushed her cart of medical supplies towards the one occupied room, stopping in front of it to pull out her master keys for the hospital.

With a deep breath, she pushed the small piece of metal into the lock, clicking open the door.

Nagito had been sleeping for an entire day now, so Mikan was reasonably surprised when she walked in with not so much as a sound only to find him sitting up in bed, reading though a book Mikan had placed on the side cupboard.

She staggered, unable to form proper words as Nagito flipped to another page. 

“Good morning Tsumiki-san,” Nagito suddenly rasped, glancing away from his book to send Mikan what was meant to be a comforting smile. It had the opposite effect. 

Mikan let out a screech, bumping into her cart and knocking her supplies to the floor. Nagito let out an embarrassed chuckle. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” Nagito closed his book, not bothering to fold the page. He moved to get out of the bed, but Mikan stopped him. 

“N-No, don’t move!” She leapt back to her feet, stumbling on her words as she backed up, away from the crippled man in the bed. Nagito immediately sat back down, hands going out in front of him in a placating matter.

“Of course Tsumiki-san,” Nagito said, hurriedly slipping back under his covers. “I would never want to disobey an order from the Ultimate Nurse herself!”

“...” Mikan slowly curled herself away, cradling her face like his praises had slapped her. She clenched her eyes shut, shaking her head as she cowered away. “I-I’m sorry...” she whispered, bringing her hands down to clench at her cart.

What was she apologizing for? Nothing really, apologizing was second nature at this point. She was like a scared deer, trying to appease every situation by agreeing to whatever someone else said.

“Ah, what are you apologizing for Tsumiki-san?” Komaeda chuckled, only half of his face visible from under the blankets, voicing her own thoughts. “It was my fault, truly” he shook his head, tugging anxiously at the metal arm Kamukura and Kazuichi had created for him. “I was simply misunderstood, is all. I know that all I need to do is rephrase my words! Then I can easily get Naegi-kun to see things in Hope’s light!” Nagito’s eyes were slowly getting glossier, widening as his scratches began to get more erratic. His hand moved, trailing up his body slowly, like a knife, before going to rest at his neck. 

His eyes narrowed, determination searing into them.

“I’ll get them both to see,” Komeada whispered. He turned over in his bed, ignoring Mikan’s cries to not lay on his stomach.

_ Kamukura’s moves were calculated by logic, not emotion. He doesn’t feel. Do not take what happened personally. _

_ What’s so special about a hope that won’t even hope anymore Kamukura-san? Hmm? What’s so interesting about that? _

_ I hate him so much. Both of them. Fake hopes. Fakefakefakefakefakefake- _

Naegi-kun was just so incredible! He had to convince him that Nagito was right, and then he would finally be able to witness true utter hope! 

...

_ Why...him? Why not me, Kamukura-san? We’re both lucks, if that’s what you’re so interested in. _

His abdomen was covered completely in bandages, snaking around his bare torso like a bunch of snakes.

He knew why he was here as well, memories vividly playing in his mind like a record player on repeat.

He wakes up-

He smells smoke-

He finds Naegi-

Naegi stabs him. That much was obvious. The physical pain in his gut stirred as he thought about it. His neck ached, like it would tear itself apart. 

He wouldn’t mind it as long as they were Kamukura’s hands. He wouldn’t have minded dying from a stab wound Makoto created, or a strangling that was initiated by Kamukura. As long as he could help the better’s around him. That was more than a worthless pest like him deserved.

Tsumiki slowly stepped towards him, cautiously pulling her cart behind her. Nagito made no move, gave no reaction. That must have been enough, as the nurse hurried her pace. Pulling up his non-robotic arm, she injected a needle into the upper area of it. Her procedures went by in a blur for Nagito, as she changed his bandages. The tension between the two of them was thick, and Mikan did her best to touch him as little as possible. 

Of course, it was understandable! Someone as incredible as the Ultimate Nurse shouldn’t have to touch a disgusting piece of trash like him at all! This was far more than he deserved.

He sat up in bed when Mikan held out a pill for him to swallow, along with a cup of water. He took them both, thanking her graciously for her assistance. Feeling himself grow drowsy, he watched with half lidded eyes as Mikan rushed out the door without so much as a goodbye.

He didn’t deserve goodbyes of course, someone as useless as him could never demand such from the Ultimate Nurse!

His eyes fell closed, and the world went dark once again. Nagito knew no more.

* * *

That is, until he was woken up. With a wonderful punch to the face.

Still half asleep, Nagito slowly brought his human hand up to his cheek, before bringing his eyes up to meet Akane’s, whose fist was still raised in the air, threatening to punch him again.

“A-Akane-san!” Mikan cried out, pushing past their other classmates in a rush to get to Nagito’s bedside, only to trip and fall.

Gundam helped her to her feet, and she brought her hands to her chest, apologizing profoundly. She shut her eyes tightly, and went to bravely move in between Nagito and Akane.

“Stop!” She shouted, although it was more like a half-hearted yelp. “You can’t! H-He’s already injured!”

“So what?” Akane demanded, although she brought her hand down, looking away from the nurse. 

“Y-You could hurt him more, and then he might not recover,” Mikan whispered, clenching her eyes shut again. 

Nagito wasn’t sure when he moved, but he found himself pulling off his blankets. Every one of his classmates' eyes went to him as he cocked his head.

“What’s this?” He whispered, a large smile forming on his face. “Have all my wonderful classmates come to see worthless trash like me? While I’m ever so grateful, I’m sure there’s better things you could be doing, rather than waiting for useless garbage to wake up!” Nagito clasped his hands together, wincing at the harsh feeling of metal against flesh.

“Oh, shut the fuck up!” Kuzuryu growled, and ignoring Mikan’s cries, he pulled a hand out of his pocket and latched onto Nagito hair, pulling him down to eye level.

Nagito silently reminisced about how similar this was. Kamukura had done this once too.

* * *

_ “Do you feel guilt, Kamukura-san? Is that it? Can you even feel guilt?” Servant whispered in Izuru’s face, smirking slightly at the quick way his jaw clenched together, before he smoothed it down again. He shoved the gun further into his forehead, clenching his hair tighter. _

_ “How cruel” Nagito said offhandedly, looking past Kamukura as though there was something far more interesting behind him. “Killing me for telling the truth? For proving that you’re truly human? How boring...” _

_ Izuru narrowed his eyes, but said nothing. He pressed at the trigger. _

_ “Are you worried about running into him? Worried about seeing him? Why?” Nagito cocked his head, as much as Kamukura would let him.  _

_ The gun clicked, but no bullet came out. _

_ “Did you truly expect anything different?” Servant laughed. He cackled into the silent wind. Kamukura threw him to the ground. He walked away, and he didn’t look back. Didn’t answer any of his questions. _

_ He didn't know either. _

_ On the other side of the city, Makoto whispered to nothing, and nothing whispered back. _

* * *

Nagito smirked at Fuyuhiko, same as Kamukura. “Is something wrong, Kuzuryu-kun?” 

Said man glared, angrily pulling at Nagito’s head. “Of course something’s wrong you dumb fuck!” He growled, pulling him close to his face. “What the hell was that shit?!”

Nagito cocked his head, still smiling. “I’m sorry I’m afraid I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t fucking lie to me!” Fuyuhiko screamed. “You wake up out of nowhere, coincidently on the same day a fucking FIRE starts, storming in like it’s nothing, before going on a fucking tangent! What the actual shit?!”

“Ah, about that, where’s Naegi-kun, and Kamukura-kun?” Nagito asked, looking past Fuyuhiko and towards the door, as though expecting the two to pop in at any moment. 

Akane punched her fist threateningly. “Far away from you that’s for sure! After what you did why would they be here?” She demanded.

Nagito slid his eyes towards her, since he couldn’t turn his head away from Fuyuhiko. “After what I did? Can you truly claim that any of you are better? Fuyuhiko-kun demanded the Kuzuryu clan to destroy and kill thousands, Nevermind-san forced half her country to kill themselves, and the other half to bow to her every whim. You all killed your own families, and yet, I’m the evil one?” Nagito questioned. 

Fuyuhiko let go of his hair, allowing him to fall back onto his bed, and he stared at him with something akin to fear.

“We all held some participation in Naegi’s killing game, I was simply the one who pushed the barrel a little further! For the greater good, of course.”

His eyes suddenly darkened, swirling slightly in the light. “In the end, all of our murderous urges and destruction were for Naegi-kun! By killing his friends and family, we were able to shape him into the incredible hope he is today!”

Souda stared at him, sweat dripping off his face. “H-How can you just say that?!” He cried out, shying away from the white-haired man, moving to curl into his beanie but finding that he couldn’t. He no longer wore a beanie after all.

“You had no issues with it before” Nagito stared darkly into Souda’s eyes. “What’s changed?”

“That was different,” The Imposter harshly cut in. “We weren’t ourselves then.” 

“Tell that to Naegi-kun. I’m  _ sure _ he’ll forgive you,” he happily gestured towards the door. Nobody made a move.

Nagito pulled at his blankets, tucking himself back in. He said no more.

“Hey what the hell? Get back up!” Akane moved to pull him back, but Mikan moved first, stepping back between them. 

“H-He needs rest,” Mikan stuttered. “We c-can all talk about this later, w-with Naegi-kun.”

Akane didn’t look like she wanted to leave, nobody did, but in the end they all shuffled out of the tiny hospital room.

Standing in the lobby, Kuzuryu stuffed his hands into his pockets.

“Well shit, what do we do now?” He asked, trying to break the tension.

“I hate to say this, but we need to confront Makoto,” the Imposter sighed, rubbing at his forehead. “About his...about everything." 

Nobody needed a talent to hear the silent words in that sentence.

_ Killing game. _

“I may a-actually have an i-idea for that,” Mikan stepped into the lobby, and the Imposter turned to her, raising an eyebrow. “Yes? What’s your idea?”

“W-we should go t-talk to A-Alter Ego,” she whispered. “It-it might have a better idea as to w-what we should do.”

“Or, we could go talk to Kamukura. Guy knows everything,” Souda supplied, speaking up.

“Kamukura, after what happened? Please, if you want to be choked next then be my guest,” Hiyoko sneered, gesturing toward the door. Souda backed away, rubbing at his nape. 

“Well, I didn’t mean me..” he started.

“Hah, pussy,” Hiyoko laughed. Mahiru shook her head, pulling the taller woman towards her.

“That’s enough, Hiyoko,” Mahiru lectured. “Mikan makes a good point. We should go see Alter Ego,” she crossed her arms.

The Imposter shook his head agreement, falling back into a leadership role as quickly as Byakuya would’ve. He led the way, pushing open the lobby door.

“Well then,” he turned to his class, and nodded. “Let’s go see Alter Ego.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh oh, Nagito’s planning something. That’s never good. He’s also salty, Saltigo.
> 
> Guys I accidentally made the hope bois a lil gay why do I keep doing this?
> 
> *casually changes 3/5 to 4/? you didn’t see nothing!
> 
> We get some backstory! Well, kinda! Nagisa and UDG are introduced into the story! ...kinda!
> 
> I wonder who nothing is 🤔. They seem nice
> 
> I’ll see you whenever I get the next chapter done! Thank you again to candyscratch for the betaing!


End file.
